24 December, 2008

Things To Do Before I Die....

I opened my eyes this morning and realized that I had no set goals in life (well it was all that dramatic). Of course I have short-term goals like finish the editing work on an academic book, get a new pair of jeans, meet deadlines, feed my tortoises, water the plants etc. But come to think of it, where do I see myself say, 50 years from now (not in heaven I hope!). There is so much to be done and life is so short- time is slipping away with every passing second. I gotta make a list before Alzheimer takes over me (I include a lot of curcumin in my diet by the way, but why take chances!). Here goes nothing....(in no particular order)

1. Color my hair purple (check)
2. Get dreadlocks...keep them for a while and then shave off my head
3. Get a tattoo on a bald head

Before you pass judgmental comments about me being obsessed with my hair, let me tell you that I'm just moving in an up-to-down order.And no...There's a lot more to me than haircolor and hairstyles, as you shall soon realize.

4. Get a Phd degree in Linguistics (see, I told you)
5. NOT have kids (fail)
6. Get a galloping horse tattooed on my ankle (there I go again)
7. Get an award - for anything (check).
8. Keep a pet hamster, a pig, a chimpanzee and an army of dogs
9. Spend my senile days in a tranquil treehouse and not in a boring flat/colony.
10. Backpack through South America
11. Drive down through South East Asia from India.
12. Learn Kathak.....professionally
13. Set up an animal shelter
14. Work as a wildlife conservationist for a while
15. Get my book published before I turn 30 (*panics*)
16. Learn to solve simple math problems (check)
17. Backpack through Australia and New Zealand
18. Travel to every corner of India
19. Dance in a Bollywood movie...you know, one of those "extras"
20. Buy a house (an eco-friendly cottage by a lake or some water body, preferably with a green belt around it) Tall order?
21. Loose 10 kgs from my bum (sigh!)
22. Bungee jump, para glide, snorkel and the works
23. Learn to handle poisonous snakes (A know of a guy in Rajasthan who can help me with this)
24. Learn some form of martial arts
25. Never work in a 9-5 job and NEVER work "under" somebody (check)
26. Write a memoir based on the life of an army wife (i need to give this a lot more time....and thought)
27. Spend a few days alone, disconnected from the world. Preferably forever.
28. Live like a hippie (that's actually the broader aim)
29. Do a PG in Journalism (drop)
30.Publish a volume of poetry (not keen anymore).
31. Swim with sharks and/or dolphins (preferably dolphins...for obvious reasons) - check. Sharks it was!
32. Bathe with buffaloes in a dirty, mucky pond...i feel so jealous when I see them going at it alone.
33. Grow my nails atleast once and use nail paint (its tougher than you think)
34. Get myself a digital SLR camera (check)
35. Spend all my earning (and Rishabh's too) in traveling.
36. Fuck all conventions, stereotypes, protocols, rules and everything that takes the life out of LIFE.
37. Never let go of family and friends who matter.
38. Plant atleast 1000 trees in my lifetime (I'm not counting...)(check)
39. Donate all my organs (check..)
40. Take workshops for writers
41. Bully a kid when it's mom is not looking....till it bawls for help (check....many times over ;))
42. See my name in a byline (check)
43. Do something really, really controversial.
44. Make my own wine (check)
45. Learn a bit of HTML...just enough to be able to manage my website independently.
46. Spend a few months living with tribals in Africa and soak in their culture.
47. Become a wandering spirit after I'm dead and haunt a beach (castles are passe)
48. Achieve nirvana (after the haunting of course)
49. Find out who I was in my past life.
50. Have an encounter with a ghost/supernatural something. (check. sorry I asked for it...wasn't pleasant at all)
That's all I can think of for now...I'll add more later. (Sorry for going overboard with parenthetical remark - can't help it coz I totally love them. The bracket closes here..)

Until Next Time...

02 December, 2008

Suicidal Comments by Indian Politicians

"True colors always shine out in moments of acute crisis" and our politicians have just proved the credibility of the statement in more ways that one. Their suicidal statements ( which can or rather, SHOULD put an end to their career) have only served to fuel the fire within every Indian. A few examples:

R.R.Patil: "Itna Bada Shehar Hai...ek-aad haadsa to ho hi jaata hai. They planned to kill 5000 people. We have minimized the damage to a large extent". he then goes on to resign on "moral grounds" (read: the resignation was shuved up his @$$)

Vilas Rao Deshmukh: Tags along son Ritesh Deshmukh and film maker Ram Gopal Verma for a guided tour to the Taj Mahal Hotel and then claims: "I offered to resign" (Sure darling, we believe you).

V.S. Achutanandan (sorry for being crass, but the first four alphabets of his surname pretty much sum up what he's all about): "Not even a dog would have entered his (Maj.Unnikrishnan's) house" on being turned back by the martyr's father.( He owes an apology to Indian canines and Indians in general).

Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi: "Just because a few people with lipstick and powder on their faces or suits and ties come out on the road to protest against politicians, doesn't mean that they are the voice of India." (is he jealous of people who are better dressed than him?)

Thats sadly the face of Indian politics- sloppy, callous, stinking and shameful. Judging by their attitude, it is pretty evident that their concerns are exclusively channeled towards the public outrage against politicians. The country and the people still don't feature on their list of priorities. And these are the guys who India chose to elect.

Can we have young, dynamic, educated and hot-blooded leaders instead of these invalid, impotent bastards? These guys can't speak for nuts even if their lives depended on it. The Pak Foreign Minister carried himself with great dignity and spontaneity (whether he meant all of that is another debatable issue) while our chaps fumbled, stumbled and stammered on national television. Where are we heading?