26 May, 2009

The Great Indian Self-Destructive Syndrome

Funny bunch of people we have in this country. A shoot-out in a gurudwara in Vienna is enough to get them burning buses, hurting their own neighbors, stopping trains and destroying public property. This is not the first time when Indians have retorted with destruction to events taking place in random places on the globe.Only this time, I happen to be at the midst of it - the city is under curfew and all my favorite hang-out places are probably seeing fire and blood. I can't help but wonder about the origins of these self-destructive tendencies.At times (more often than not), the protesters/mobbers/rioters have little clue about what they are trying to express. Who are they exactly protesting against? Aren't they totally missing the point?

I guess the "great Indian self-destruction syndrome" (it should officially be a disease) dates back to the time when freedom fighters protested against the colonial rulers by damaging the government property and public facilities as a sign of rejection. If it is so, will someone go tell these simpletons that the Brits left more than half a century ago and the property they are damaging now is very much their own? In fact, they even pay taxes for its maintenance! Such events are just examples of how we as a nation are driven by a herd mentality. The masses are for all practical purposes, incapable of independent thinking, logical reasoning and good social sense. We do what others do (follow religion), like what others like (Shahrukh Khan) and are crazy about what others are crazy about (cricket).A very minuscule section of our national population actually use what they have in their top shelves and think for themselves (and are we grateful for that!).

Does it ultimately boil down to education (not literacy, education)?

Quotable Quotes From A Cricket Hater

IPL is over but the spastics are still splashed over all channels except cartoon network (which is incidentally their rightful place). I realized this when I was trying to catch up on the riots taking place in my own city and the cyclone in Kolkata. C'mon guys, does that pathetic excuse of a game really score over issues of national importance.

More out of irritation that anger, I am compelled to jot some "quotable quotes" about cricket, the assholes who play the game and millions of retards who watch the no-brainer at the edge of their seats with their mouths gaping open.

1. Cricket is not divine pursuit; it is not even a game.

2. Cricket is the bastard child left behind after the Brits were done raping our country.

3. Cricket is eleven men with no balls running after one ball, catching it and then throwing it away.

4. It is no big deal if a jerk hits a ball and runs from one post to another like a banshee. And the crowd cheers.....

5."We won!!" No you didn't win. Nobody wins anything sitting on a couch eating popcorn and drinking beer. You just lost some really precious time and a lot of gray cells.

6. Cricket is too sissy to be manly, too dumb to be feminine. I have yet to come across eunuchs who play cricket.

7. If your Facebook status message reeks of cricket updates, the other areas of your life probably need a lot more attention.

8. Its just a run...what's there to be so worked-up about?

9.Stop watching cricket - get a life!

10. The insect is prettier/ smarter/ more productive than the game.

22 May, 2009

From My Past Relationships I Have Learnt....

1.Nice guys are close to extinction!!


3. You can still be friends even after an ugly break-up.

4. Try not to handle more than one dude at a tym..its messy and lands u in trouble.

5. A dog is better than a man...cuter, easy to train, loyal and best of all..not fond of cricket!

04 May, 2009

In Defence of Slitheren....

It pains me to see the attitude that most people have towards snakes; the most common notion being - "You see a snake, you kill it". I mean, what did the poor slitherer ever do to us? Fear almost always stems from ignorance. We are scared of snakes because we don't understand them. Yes, some of them are poisonous enough to wipe out a village and yes, some people may find them mean and slimy but that is still not enough reason to "kill" them.Do you even realize how many venomous (metaphorically of course), mean and slimy people you are surrounded with? Do you kill them just because you don't like them? And yeah, they don't even protect your crops from rodents!

Snakes in reality are extremely gentle and timid creatures, just that they command oodles of respect from humans. I fell in love with snakes the first time I held one in my arms and felt weirdly tuned in to its body language. You gotta hold a snake the way IT likes to be held and not the way YOU would like to hold it. That element of respect makes snakes the magnificent creatures that they are.When you hold a snake, you have to leave it free enough to curl around you otherwise they get kinda edgy. If they click with you, they can be extremely friendly (even cuddly) and easy to handle. However, poisonous ones have to be held slightly above the neck. My very first 'body-contact' encounter with a snake was with two pythons and their hatchings. They did not feel the slightest bit intimidated; rather,as cold-blooded creatures, they seemed to enjoy the warmth of a mammalian body.

Some idiots may argue on behalf of the many people who have died of snake bites. Its not the snake's fault! Most snake bites happen in wilderness which is supposed to be THEIR territory, not ours. When you invade someone's space, you do so at your own risk and then, you have no right to complain if you are driven out! If snakes happen to wander into human settlements, it is only because we have not left enough wilderness for them to dwell in peace. A snake will never harm a human unless it is gravely threatened. When faced by a bigger animal, its first instinct is to escape. However, if it is cornered, it has only its venom for self-defense.Then too, it issues multiple warnings by hissing and spatting before going in for the final strike. Can you blame a poor creature for that? Why don't people back off when they see a snake? Why do they have to raise hell and summon a crowd armed with sticks? What is a snake supposed to do when it is faced by an armed mob?

Snakes are beautiful animals and vital to the ecosystem.Once we understand that snakes are as scared of us than we are of them (if not more), the two species may be able to find themselves on the same page. Thats the reason I want to train professionally as a snake-handler so that I can do my bit to spread awareness and help snakes in distress. Hail Slitheren!

02 May, 2009

A Test Assignment That Was Fun

In not more than 250-300 words, create a short story that connects the two pictures. You may interpret and present the nature of connection between these two pictures according to your understanding.

This was not the first time Alex and I had fought. As children, we had got into a tussle over the silliest of things but we always made-up before our moms gave us the dinner call. But today it was different – we were no longer innocent seven year olds who could forgive and forget in a jiffy. We had grown into two egotistical twenty-something’s who would rather disown an age-old friend than apologize. I knew he had hurt me but I could not allow myself to let go of the beautiful memories that we shared. As we stood detached on the ruins that had once been our favorite hang-out spot, I reminisced how we used to steal colorful, sugar-laden lollypops from the cabinet and hide in the ruins to gorge on them. Maybe this sticky-sweet friendship resulted from eating too many sticky-sweet lollies. For us, slurping on lollypops was a way to celebrate, to rejoice in each other’s company, to end an argument or to simply pass time. But that was then – we had left our child-like innocence far behind us.

Today, as we stood together at our secret hide-out, there was a deafening silence between us. The rustic, defragmented walls of the iconic structure now aptly represented the aura between us. Maybe like the ruins, our friendship had failed to stand the test of time. As I stared across the green grasslands, I saw something bright in my field of vision. It was Alex’s hand and it held a beautiful bundle of colorful lollypops! Maybe going back in time wasn’t so difficult at all…